In the future we'll all be gay
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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