I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
