he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I currently don't understand fingers.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize