We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
