who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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