How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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