The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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