I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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