I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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