There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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