I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
