is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
