But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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