it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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