you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
