I just gift wrapped bread.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
