is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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