We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
