Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
