if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
