this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
