You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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