R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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