Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
