she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
