Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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