I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
