i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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