Welp...herpes.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
