No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
