Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
