Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
