she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize