im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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