you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
