it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
