i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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