office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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