thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
