I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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