I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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