She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
this is an emotional support booty call
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
