At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
