i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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