I want to stick my p in your. b.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
