i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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