i'm lost and i look like a hooker
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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