she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize