I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
