My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
