I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
