if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so let's talk penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize