No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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