shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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