I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
