kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Panties = found
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
