But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
