it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
They have beer where we have blood.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
