I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
