she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
