Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
