you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm too high and old for this...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
