I'm really into asian looking animals
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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