Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize