Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just pynch a tree in the face
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
