i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
