Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize